Friday, December 19, 2008

What Do Your Christmas Lights Say About You?

The Tribune had an article today stating that psychologists say that your Christmas lights can say a lot about you as a person. If you have simple lights, that could be how you see the world. Or if you have shall we say an "abundance" of light and yard figures, well, you might need to see this next part.

They also highlighted a website called The site comes complete with a list of violations. Here are a few of them. Have you violated any of them? If so, turn out your lights and step away (at least until the thaw).

--W.T.H. (What the Heck!?) Violation
Random, non-holiday decor has no place in December. Just because you were given a cool giant light up smiley face does not mean you should put it on the roof this month!

--Multiple Clauses Violation
There is one Santa Claus and only one. I repeat- you may not have more than ONE Santa in your yard at anytime. (The exception is this; if you have a Santa from another culture or a Santa of another ethnicity, THEN you may have another Santa among the deciduous forest that is your yard. This does not mean you may have an inflatable Santa AND a plastic, light-up Santa. Inflatable is not an ethnicity). The same rules apply for Mrs. Claus. Santa is not an adulterer. We must show Santa as an upstanding and moral citizen, despite the 3rd world wages he pays the elves.

--Fallen Figurines/Drive-by Shooting Victims Violation
These poor souls should not be illuminated. If you aren’t going to go outside to set them all back up, don’t plug them in. No one wants to see Mary and Joseph laying down as if involved in a deadly drive-by shooting.

And my personal fav,

--King Kong Complex Violation
If a giant polar bear is standing anywhere near a mid-sized Santa or the Abominable Snowman is lurking over the manger, do something, quick!